I don't even know what to say.
My emotions aren't even words.
They can't be.
This poor blog.
It has been put through so much emotional drama.
And thus is the life of a teenage girl.
I'm just putting off the reason why I'm writing.
I want to say it right.
But I don't know how.
Me? At a loss for words?
This is weird.
He emailed me.
He wants to start writing again.
I could sing from every rooftop.
I want to scream for the world to hear.
Nothing has changed.
As strong as ever.
And how does that work?
We haven't seen each other in thirteen months.
Haven't had any communication for nine of them.
It feels like nothing has changed.
That is magic.
I don't need a wand or spells.
(Even though I want one SOOOOOOO bad)
I have my own. It is in my heart.
I'll carry your heart with me.
That was my promise.
And that is a promise I intend to keep.
My mom hasn't seen me shine in a long time.
That poor woman...
What I have put her through.
She is a good mommy. She takes care of me.
She keeps my feet grounded.
And she even says that I haven't been this happy in months.
Nine months to be exact.
I don't know how to end this.
So, I will end it with a letter for all you girls waiting out there.
Dear Courageous Girl,
When you have done all you can do, sometimes you are left in a place where you just have to wait. Waiting is painful, waiting is hard... Perhaps one of the hardest skills we will ever have to develop in our lifetimes.
What if your waiting is active? What if, instead of stopping everything to wait, you take an active approach..... And do what you CAN do, (even if it has nothing to do with what you are waiting for) trying not to think about the things you cannot do yet.
Active waiting shortens the waiting time, fills your heart with joy instead of angst, and helps you to make progress. Then, if things do not turn out exactly as you expected or hoped, your life is full of other wonderful things that you will always have.
Life is absolutely mean to be enjoy, not just endured. Please take some time to actively seek and hold on to joyful experiences while you are waiting.
There is a plan for you, hold on tight! Enjoy the ride and smell the flowers when you are stopped.
You are such an inspiration to those around you.
Take this advice from a girl who has been through this all. Has endured every heart broken moment. Trust me. This is the better route.
With every emotion I have in my exploding heart,