Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I'm an idiot.

End of story.

Shall I expand?

No.

I won't.

Because I am pathetic.

This always happens.

Every. Single. Time.

Just man up Linsey.

You can do it.

Just kidding.

You can't.

Does this make any sense?

Nope.

Even in my jumbled little mind nothing seems to fit.

I've done this a million times over.

But for whatever the reason maybe,

it's always new and terrifying.

So now I lay here in my bed.

Shaking my head.

Actually banging it into the head board.

Tomorrow night.

I shall redeem myself.

Mark my words.

Velour, here I come.

Oh.

And you.

The one that says I should delete my blog.

Go on a mission.

It will do you good.

And get out of my business.

Thank you.

I'm Growing Up Too Fast.

Wow.

I survived my junior year.

I'm alive.

And well.

WHAT IN THE WORLD???

How did this year go by so fast?

How is junior year already over?

I'm a senior?

My heart just dropped.

My belly flopped.

I'm still a sophomore.

I'm still a baby.

A little girl.

I'm five years old at heart.

How am I already a senior?

I'm freaking out here.

FREAKING OUT.

Tonight was graduation.

I watched every single one of my beloved seniors 

take that long walk and receive the diploma they had been waiting twelve years to get.

I cried.

A lot.

Going to school and not seeing

Matt,

Steve,

Emily,

Nate,

Cam,

Maddie,

or any of them...

It is going to kill me.

I am going to be the oldest.

The biggest.

Like I said before...

I'M A 5 YEAR OLD.

I can't handle this whole senior thing.

As I sat at graduation, I made myself a promise.

I will NOT waste a single moment of this next year.

I will live the best senior year any one has ever experienced.

Senioritis shall not overcome me.

I will be the best SBO ever.

I will love everyone.

I will go to EVERYTHING.

I will truly live this next year.

I will make every day worth while.

I will love unconditionally.

I almost can't wait.

It is going to be the best year of my life.

But for now,

it is summer.

And I shall love this warmth.

Embrace the whole no homework gig.

I will have the summer of a life time.

Then the best senior year ever.

And then I move out.

GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I still have a year of childhood left.

I will love every second of it.

Mark my words.

Hello, This Was My Week.

Once upon a time Linsey never wrote on her blog.

The end.

Lets start with Wednesday:

I went to a choir concert.

And might I just say,

My school is oh so talented.

I sat by my romeo.

Our secret love....

It's fantastic.

After I arrived home I had the privledge of watching the American Idol Finale.

SCOOOTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!

My boy.

My love.

I called it from the very beginning.

He will be a legend.

Thursday:

Two words.
Bad. Day.
Do you ever have those days when nothing goes your way,
when teachers don't work with you,
when friends act silly,
when fate hates you,
when a certain boy ignores your existance,
when you have 170000000 things to do and so little time,
and you really just want a chocolate bar?

Yep.
That was my life.

That night we had our Dance Co banquet.
I wanted to cry.
It was so hard being with my entire Company for the last time.
But I was comforted.
We have so many great memories together.
We are sisters.
As cliche as it sounds,
We can't cry because it's over,
we should smile because it happened.
I will never forget Dance Company 2010 - 2011.
A true sisterhood.

Friday:

One of the best days I have had in the longest time.
At lunch,
A tailgate party was held on the band field.
Hot dogs were eaten,
and memories were made.
A complete success.
Then came the state championship baseball game.
I had the privilege to sit by my dear Crush through out the entire game.
BONDDINNNG definitely occurred.
Man.... I will write a little bit more about that later.
We lost.
But second in state is not that bad right?
It's actually quite amazing.
Then came Powder Puff.
Stupid seniors.
I hate you.
All of you.
And your cheating ways.
GRRRRR.
I got a real cool jersey that some lovelies made for me.
It sported the number 26 along with the name of "Puffs" on the back.
May I just say I love that shirt?
A lot.
Then came Cavestock.
Talk about your craziness.
At first everything went quite well.
Doing my free period I got work with the cotton candy.
A literal dream come true.
I am easily entertained.
Sue me.
Then the rain came.
Usually I'm a fan of water falling from the sky but not when we are holding an outside dance with expensive electronics that must be out of H20's way.
So,
the chaos began.
The rain meant we had to bring everything in.
Every chair.
Every table.
Every piece of equipment.
By the end I was a soaking wet mess that really needed a power nap.
Might I just say,
when things need to get done,
I turn into a different person.
My priorities are shifted and I run around like a mad women trying to get things done.
And things we a lot easier because my dear Crush was by my side for the most of the night.
He helped me with everything.
I really appreciated it.
He made me smile.
A lot.
Then Momo and I decided to take a break and wrestle in the grass.
One of the best ideas I have ever had.
She is a little monster.
I like a challenge.

Yep.
We are that cool.
Notice the jersey. Number 26.
Booyahhh.

After about an hour of endless clean up the dance began.
And I partied.
It was very hot.
I became very sweaty.
But did that stop me from dancing with my Crush?
NO SIRR.
American Fork High School is just so school.
At one point in the evening my red headed little sister, a little sophy I admire with all my heart,
and I decided to stand on the benches and dance.
Pretty soon,
our whole little group was on those old piles of wood partying like
 there was no tomorrow.
Towards the end of the night,
They played a song of unity and the whole school linked arms and stood in a big circle.
We all shifted back and forth.
Looking at each other's faces.
Looking at the seniors who are off to bigger and better things.
Wanting to cry.
But smiling thinking of all the memories.
We all shouted ah-chil-le-le.
For the last time.
It was a great end.
Not to mention,
I danced with my Crush.
Twice.
That's right.
And all I have to say is I believe I have fallen quite hard for the kid.
Never in my life had I thought it would have developed into this.
He is amazing.
I have never met a more amazing boy.
He makes me swoon.
And giggle.
And... man.
Not to mention he improved immensely as a dancer.
Mainly, we worked on dips and spins.
Magical.
We had a moment.
I am the luckiest girl to ever walk this planet.
But at the same time,
I am terrified.
I don't know how to conduct myself.
I don't know what to do.
Hello seventh grade.
That is what I feel like.
Let the pieces fall where they may, I like to say.
Cavestock.
Success.
Pure happiness.
I love my life.
Very much.

Another Day of Joy.

I love love.

Don't you?

Feeling giddy and appreciated?

Swooned and special?

Ya.

It's the best.

Especially when communication is present.

It's neat.

I don't know why he still makes me nervous.

I see him,

and my mind fumbles,

my tummy fills with fluttering creatures,

and my feet carry me in the opposite direction.

It's not okay.

I spent the whole day banging my head into the desk

thinking of how pathetic I act when I see him down the hall,

and I sprint away.

I get so scared.

Then I hear my name down the hall.

"Puffs! Hey Puffs!"

Long story.

I began to wonder why I was so nervous in the first place.

When we talk, we just click.

He makes me so happy and giggly.

I came home and my mom asked me why I was so smiley.

She looked at me curiously then said

Never mind, I know why.

And chuckled to herself as she walked away.

Mothers.

Think they know everything. 

Probably because they do.

I can feel myself falling.

I'm terrified,

but at the same time,

I could not be more excited.

Another Disney scene.

Aladin and Jasmine.

Classic.

Enjoy.

A Little Day in the Life of Linsey.

I texted my Crush.

He made me smile.

And I was acting like my crazy self.

Can you believe that?

I know.

Big steps.

Big steps!


I took my AP exam today.
BARF.
It actually went quite well.
I'm almost sure that I passed.
Can I get a hip-hip-hooray for college credit?
HIP-HIP-HOORAY!

I took a four hour nap today.

Yes,

I am so behind on my sleep to the point where I collapsed on my bed.

And I still behind.

But it was a good day.

Smile at everyone you see.

It will brighten their day.

And yours.

Try it. 

Change Is Coming My Way.

Decisions.

Change.

Man, my life is changing right before my eyes.

Stupid college.

It ruins everything.

My friends and I are starting to my challenged with the reality of what college expects.

We all need scholarships.

We all want to have an amazing senior year.

But in order to receive scholarships, we must shape and form our senior year to help us require the certain skills to help us be eligible for the scholarships.

And that bites.

Different paths.

Different friends.

Lets put it this way.

I have the best friends in the world.

There are seven of us.

We are all on Dance Company,

Minus one, who is still with us every where we go,

and spend every second possible with one another.

They are the best girls I know.

We know everything about eachother.

Maybe a little too much.

But that's what makes us best friends right?

 That's us.

Right there.

The seven of us.

We have been through so so so much together.

 We are so dynamic as group.

All have a love of dancing that bonds us, but at the same time

we are all so different.

There is the Polynesian.

When people first see her, they are intimidated by her 5'11" Samoan self.

But once you get to know her, she is the kindest, softest person I know.

There are the two Asians.

One being so bluntly honest about everything at all time,

we have learned to just laugh at her insulting comments.

It's just who she is.

And we love her for it.

The other being the down to earth one.

She is strong and sweet.

A perfect balance.

The blond haired, blue eyed babe.

Who makes boys go weak in the knees.

Honestly, one of the prettiest girls at our school.

Her personality makes you fall out of your seat laughing.

Not to mention, she is a famous dancer.

It's fine.

The red head.

My best friend from the beginning.

I have never met a girl with a stronger personality.

She likes things her way, and will fight til she gets it.

She is motivated.

She is amazing.

The exotic bendy blond one.

My ultimate best friend.

The best dancer I know.

I have never met a softer heart.

She views life from an eternal perspective and

helps me everyday of my life.

One of the best people I have ever met in my life.

We have been through the thick and the thin.

And its about to come to a close.

Three of them,

Have all decided to try out for our schools cheer squad.

In order for them to get scholarships for their dream colleges.

And our team?

They are amazing.

Unreal.

We're talking best in the state.

Second in the country.

Ya, they are kind of a big deal.

But that doesn't go without practice.

Cheer is their life.

They live, breathe, and even eat cheer.

So what does that mean for Linsey?

My best friends are going to become too busy to even notice my existence.

They are who I sat with at our high school events.

The ones that watched every football and basketball game with.

The silly Friday nights.

That is going to be all over.

My heart is cracking to just thinking about.

Luckily, two of the lassies are going to try and juggle Dance Co and Cheer.

We will see how that works out.

But things will never be the same.

Ever.

Two are already set on Dance Co.

That is their first priority.

But between jobs and studio dancing,

I will rarely ever see them.

One isn't even on Dance Co.

We have remained best friends by the unity of all of us.

I'm terrified with our all of our separation,

I won't ever see her anymore.

And then there is me.

My first priority,

Student Body Officer.

That is where my loyalty will lie.

I will always put it first.

With that alone,

I will hardly ever see my little possy.

We are being separated.

I have never done well with change.

My anxiety issues start to come into play.

But you know what?

The more I ponder and think about what is to come,

The more I know I am going to be alright.

When all this news was officially out in the air,

I began to panic that I was going to be alone.

No friends.

A complete loser.

Then, I realized,

Linsey, think of what is in store for you.

You have a whole council who will become your family.

New friends that will always be there for you.

The push to go to every school event,

not alone, but with a best friend.

You are never going to be alone.

Heavenly Father has blessed you.

Take this blessing, and use it to your full potential.

And I am at peace.

I know everything happens for a reason.

I am strong believer in that.

So its all going to work out in the end.

I am so excited for senior year.

Change is coming my way.

I will face it head on.

And I will welcome it with open arms.

I am ready for this.

Are you?

Breathe Linsey. You Can Do This.

I am in a bit of a tussle.

Actually, an internal panic.

Freaking out to be precise.

I have just come to the actual realization that I am a Student Body Officer for the next year.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know how to plan such big events.

The SBOs before me are absolutely outstanding.

You could not ask for a better group of kids.

Now, I am asked to step up to the plate,

and fill their shoes?

Holy fancy moses.

I cannot tell whether this is mere excitement or anxiety,

but one thing is for sure.

I am going to need Heavenly Father for this one.

I am definitely going to need his help.

And the more I think about it,

laying in my bed at 1:30 in the morning,

I am ready.

I can do this.

I will make this next year, the best EVER for the students of American Fork High.

Yes, I can do this.

But there is so much to take on.

So many things to get done.

Am I capable of this?

Did they pick the right girl?

I feel like Rapunzel right now, right after she left the castle.

She did it.

She accomplished her dream of leaving he tower.

(I tackled my dream of become an SBO)

But once the actual realization of what her decision actually brings,

she begins to panic about what is in store for her.

(Does this sound like anyone?)

Here is the actual clip:

The difference between us is:

She is having an internal conflict of destroying her mother's feelings or not.

I am having completely bipolar thoughts on whether I can live up to my full potential as an SBO or not.

So I will pray.

I will have Heavenly Father strengthen me.

I know I can do this.

I can.

If I couldn't, wouldn't they have not placed me in this council?

All the current SBO's believe in me.

The problem is believing in myself.

Normal teenage girl stuff right?

I just... want this next year to be perfect.

I want this next year of 2011 - 2012 to have the best experience possible.

My excitement comes from knowing that I get to plan that.

I am a main source of help.

And I can't wait.

I want to start tomorrow.

I want to prove I can do it.

Not only to others around me, but to myself.

Heavenly Father has a plan for me.

He put me in this position for a reason.

There are so many things I am willing to learn.

That he wants me to learn.

Now, I just have to live up to this.

The more and more I write on this post,

The more I am beaming with excitement and readiness.

BAAHHHHHH.
I am ready.
Bring it on.

Ok, venting is done.

Quite The Day

Sometimes in life...

You get stressed.

You get caught off guard.

You cry.

You run around the stupid high school.

You beg teachers to help you.

You get a strange random letter that is false.

You fail a Chemistry test.

You get turned down.

You see your Crush in the hall, and jump behind a crowd of people.

You run and run and run.

You talk to some sweet girls.

You miss Dance Company.

You cry some more.

You want to sleep, but know you can't.

You scream.

You turn in your application packet.

You feel relieved.

It was... a bad day. But thats okay.

Because you know what?

Everything got in.

Everything is good.

Life is good.

And I love it.

Very much.

Crazy Life

I apologize, to all the members of this blogging world,

For my scarcity in writing and most random disappearance. 

My brain is fried.

My days are filled with stress and bewilderment.

I honestly have not had one minute to sit down and write

the situation of my life.

From homework,

to the end of the term,

to Dance Company,

to getting ready for prom,

to running for SBO,

my life has been a complete whirlwind.

I have not had a minute to myself.

So, my apologies.

I promise I will write more soon.

Til then, adios!