Happy Birthday My Darling.

So...

My cousins are the best.

But one specific cousin is my best friend.

It was her birthday today.

She is officially a big 19 year old.

YAY.

Go Nana!

Thank you for being the big (little) sister I never had.

Thank you for putting up with my dramatic ways.

Thank you for sharing my odd obsessions.

Thank you for laughing at my dumb jokes.

Thank you for being the most amazing person.

You are so special to me.

I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

I LOVE YOU.

Best friend.

Best cousin.

Best sister.

Forever.

Psssssss

Tomorrow the epic tale of my little retreat shall be revealed on the pages of this blog.

AHHHHHHHHHHH.

I love my council.

Every single one.

Hello, This Was My Week.

Once upon a time Linsey never wrote on her blog.

The end.

Lets start with Wednesday:

I went to a choir concert.

And might I just say,

My school is oh so talented.

I sat by my romeo.

Our secret love....

It's fantastic.

After I arrived home I had the privledge of watching the American Idol Finale.

SCOOOTTTTTTYYYYYY!!!

My boy.

My love.

I called it from the very beginning.

He will be a legend.

Thursday:

Two words.
Bad. Day.
Do you ever have those days when nothing goes your way,
when teachers don't work with you,
when friends act silly,
when fate hates you,
when a certain boy ignores your existance,
when you have 170000000 things to do and so little time,
and you really just want a chocolate bar?

Yep.
That was my life.

That night we had our Dance Co banquet.
I wanted to cry.
It was so hard being with my entire Company for the last time.
But I was comforted.
We have so many great memories together.
We are sisters.
As cliche as it sounds,
We can't cry because it's over,
we should smile because it happened.
I will never forget Dance Company 2010 - 2011.
A true sisterhood.

Friday:

One of the best days I have had in the longest time.
At lunch,
A tailgate party was held on the band field.
Hot dogs were eaten,
and memories were made.
A complete success.
Then came the state championship baseball game.
I had the privilege to sit by my dear Crush through out the entire game.
BONDDINNNG definitely occurred.
Man.... I will write a little bit more about that later.
We lost.
But second in state is not that bad right?
It's actually quite amazing.
Then came Powder Puff.
Stupid seniors.
I hate you.
All of you.
And your cheating ways.
GRRRRR.
I got a real cool jersey that some lovelies made for me.
It sported the number 26 along with the name of "Puffs" on the back.
May I just say I love that shirt?
A lot.
Then came Cavestock.
Talk about your craziness.
At first everything went quite well.
Doing my free period I got work with the cotton candy.
A literal dream come true.
I am easily entertained.
Sue me.
Then the rain came.
Usually I'm a fan of water falling from the sky but not when we are holding an outside dance with expensive electronics that must be out of H20's way.
So,
the chaos began.
The rain meant we had to bring everything in.
Every chair.
Every table.
Every piece of equipment.
By the end I was a soaking wet mess that really needed a power nap.
Might I just say,
when things need to get done,
I turn into a different person.
My priorities are shifted and I run around like a mad women trying to get things done.
And things we a lot easier because my dear Crush was by my side for the most of the night.
He helped me with everything.
I really appreciated it.
He made me smile.
A lot.
Then Momo and I decided to take a break and wrestle in the grass.
One of the best ideas I have ever had.
She is a little monster.
I like a challenge.

Yep.
We are that cool.
Notice the jersey. Number 26.
Booyahhh.

After about an hour of endless clean up the dance began.
And I partied.
It was very hot.
I became very sweaty.
But did that stop me from dancing with my Crush?
NO SIRR.
American Fork High School is just so school.
At one point in the evening my red headed little sister, a little sophy I admire with all my heart,
and I decided to stand on the benches and dance.
Pretty soon,
our whole little group was on those old piles of wood partying like
 there was no tomorrow.
Towards the end of the night,
They played a song of unity and the whole school linked arms and stood in a big circle.
We all shifted back and forth.
Looking at each other's faces.
Looking at the seniors who are off to bigger and better things.
Wanting to cry.
But smiling thinking of all the memories.
We all shouted ah-chil-le-le.
For the last time.
It was a great end.
Not to mention,
I danced with my Crush.
Twice.
That's right.
And all I have to say is I believe I have fallen quite hard for the kid.
Never in my life had I thought it would have developed into this.
He is amazing.
I have never met a more amazing boy.
He makes me swoon.
And giggle.
And... man.
Not to mention he improved immensely as a dancer.
Mainly, we worked on dips and spins.
Magical.
We had a moment.
I am the luckiest girl to ever walk this planet.
But at the same time,
I am terrified.
I don't know how to conduct myself.
I don't know what to do.
Hello seventh grade.
That is what I feel like.
Let the pieces fall where they may, I like to say.
Cavestock.
Success.
Pure happiness.
I love my life.
Very much.

Please Start Now. Yes, I Would Like That.

Ah-ha moments.

Priceless.

Do you ever have those moments when all the pieces fit?

Where every thought clicks?

And makes perfect sense?

I had a few of those on Saturday.

Maybe more than a few.

It started out with a service project.

Picking up the trash in American Fork.

My dear group had the joyful task of walking from In-N-Out to Cold Stone.

I brought a friend.

*Place giggle here*

I was told I was completely useless because it was impossible to stay concentrated.

Hm.

I don't understand what they are talking about.

I adore these girls.

I'm a total loser for not getting a picture with my friend.

Ugh.

I spent the rest of the day with my soul sister.

It in insane how you can be the exact opposite of a person,

but at the same,

you find your other half.

She's the artistic one.

Writing, photography, art,

the whole shibang.

I'm the logical one.

I like numbers and patterns.

Consistency.

Symmetry.

OCD.

Being best friends is having one soul in two bodies.

I found my other half.

We maybe so different,

but we are givers.

We will give EVERYTHING to those we care about.

Do anything for them.

Listen to their joys and rejoice with them.

Discuss little details and over analyze every portion as girls love to do.

Listen to stories of heartbreak and comfort,

even when we are dying inside.

Serve the ones we love in every way possible.

I always knew I did this.

But never have I met someone willing to open up to me,

as she has.

The more we talked, the more we began to realize we both made SBO for many reasons.

One of the top reasons?

To become soul sisters.

And we are.

And I love her.

I am so blessed to have this young lassie in my life.

We went to yard sales.

Went grocery shopping.

We played with kitties and puppies.

See for yourself.

Look at my little Simba.

What a gem.

The old and new council member had a little party.

I was abnormally quiet.

I still feel like the odd girl out.

Soon, my odd ways will be accepted and I will have a family with my council.

But for now...

I'm scared.

I'm scared I won't fit it.

That I will be looked at as this random child on council,

that doesn't really belong.

I know once my council sees the true me,

they will welcome me with open arms.

But I am in transition right now.

With friends,

with myself.

I am changing.

And I know it.

Love it, to be precise.

Ah-ha.

I spent half my night with my SBO ladies.

And that is when things clicked.

I looked around, and I felt loved.

And cared for.

When it comes to a Blue,

such as myself,

there is not a greater feeling.

I can already tell,

we are going to be so so close.

I can't wait.

  

Dear StuCo,

I would really appreciate it if you would start now.

I would love to have a family.

My dream is to walk up to all the members and each of them to smile and accept me.

That would be nice.

You are a major blessing in my life, and as I count my many,

I do not want you to go waste.

I want to start now.

This very moment.

I love you.

With all my heart.

Thank you.

For everything.

Please make my senior year the best one ever.

I would really like that.

With all my heart,

Linsey.

Well... Yep. This Is It.

Major case of bloggers block.

I have nothing to say.

Other than...

I NEED SUMMER NOW!

I mean now.

This very instant.

Please.

Life is fantastic.

All is well.

I like friends.

They are neat.

I don't know what I would do without my red headed little sister.

She completes me.

I want student council to officially start.

Then all my dreams might come true.

I found out my Crush reads this blog where I poor out my emotions.

Well,

there's the end of those stories.

Disney Scene?

Well,

it is not really Disney.

The Swan Princess.

Easily my favorite princess movie.

Ever.

When I was seven,

my mommy had a lady in our ward sew me my own custom dress,

so I could be just like Odette.

Far Longer Than Forever:

Please skip the annoying beginning seconds.

Rain Rain Go Away.

Roller coasters.

They are so fun.

Especially when you are discussing emotions.

Last night I couldn't sleep.

I woke up in the middle of the night sobbing.

In hysterics.

I laid in my bed for an hour holding on to old letters.

Replaying memories.

The thrashing rain outside didn't help much either.

It helped remembering the times of smiles and giggles.

It also helped with the pain.

The ache in my chest.

Pounding.

Cracking.

Today was Elder's sixth month mark.

Six. Months.

Ouch.

I can't believe it.

Six months without the boy I fell head over heals for.

The boy that changed me.

Changed my ways,

Changed my outlook on life.

The boy that pushed me to be my best.

He brought out the very best in me.

He kissed me.

And cherished every moment.

He lifted me out of the darkness and helped my testimony grow leaps and bounds.

I was in love.

And you humbuggers who believe that true love doesn't exist in high school?

I am sad for you.

The feelings between me and Elder were real.

Strong.

Powerful.

I have never been so happy.

And that is happiness you are pushing away.

You'll understand eventually.

It's the best.

I woke up this morning,

late as usual.

I rushed to get ready for a dear SBO meeting.

I turned on my Linkin Park,

trying to block out all thoughts.

I put on a scarf.

A pink one.

I thought it would help brighten my mood.

I went to my meeting.

Smiling at everyone,

praying they could see the disguise.

I sprinted to seminary knowing the spirit was the only thing that would heal my broken heart.

We talked about families.

And love.

Perfect.

I love my life.

Not.

I had a test in second.

Fail.

Once again,

I love my life.

Math has always been my favorite subject.

Everything has a rule.

It is constant.

Never changing.

Numbers are numbers.

Formulas are formulas.

And for OCD fanatics like Linsey?

Ya, math calms me.

So third passed with flying colors.

At lunch,

I saw him and her sitting at the lunch table.

She loves him.

He adores her.

I looked away before my eyes began to swell with tears.

It is hard to see couples in love,

when you are falling apart at the seams.

I didn't look at them again.

During fourth I saw my Crush.

I was in the hall, he walked by.

Stitch.

He smiled at me.

I smiled back.

Stitch.

The pain stopped momentarily.

I wished him luck at his game.

He said he would look out for me.

This time the smile wasn't forced, it was authentic.

I went to the soccer game.

My Crush is a stud.

He talked to me after.

I forgot about my pain, 

it almost... vanished.

I like to believe it was the fresh air and fresh thinking.

Maybe just maybe,

it's the fact that I see that there is still hope for me.

That this pain won't last forever.

I might one day be able to have the 10th day of the month come 

and not fall apart.

I don't know.

Maybe.

Arriving home,

I got a text from a special boy.

He simply asked me if I was going to the baseball game tomorrow.

It made all the difference in the world.

I felt special.

Remembered.

Isn't crazy how just a little text and some loving words can change your whole day?

Once again.

Roller coaster.

But I am a broken hearted teenage girl.

What do you expect?

Understanding The Change.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.

If you are going to go through hell, keep going.

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.

Winston Churchill

What a fantastic man.

The more my life goes on,

the more I am seeing things for what they truly are.

I am growing.

And that's the point of life.

Right?

Ask me a month ago,

And I would say that my life was falling to pieces.

I was losing my best friends.

I lost my Elder.

Everything I held onto so dear and grasping, planning on never letting go,

Well,

They slowly faded away.

Still are.

I thought my life was over.

That I would never fit in anywhere else.

But that's the funny thing about life.

When one door closes,

You break down a window.

 You run for SBO.

And shock yourself when you actually make it.

You pushed down your guarded walls,

and make new friends 

that you begin to wonder how you ever lived without them.

You find yourself.

Truly.

You begin to discover little abilities that have been covered up by

self doubt and fear of others judging.

You change.

That step through the broken window and refiner glass shapes you.

All within a month.

I view things differently.

I walk down the hall and notice people.

I have an unyielding want to help.

I want,

wait scratch that,

NEED to make a change.

And the Lord has presented me with the perfect opportunity.

I am in love with my life.

Every imperfection,

every hardship.

Weird. I know.

But I feel my Savior's love and 

I know that even in my weakest moments I am getting stronger.

There is divine beauty in that.

I love the moments of complete laughter and embarrassment.

Because they make one heck of a story.

Some of them are definitely golden for the grandchildren.

I'm just... Grateful.

For everything.

I love everyone.

And you.

Especially you.

Things are changing.

So am I.

And I could not feel better.

Naps. Naps are good.

Once upon time there lived a young lassie named Linsey.

She was a very sleep deprived child who can never quite function right due to no rest.

Arriving at her prison chamber, aka high school, at 6:45 sharp,

She was able to take Council pictures, as well as measure for a sweater.

What a sight.

The young girl was squealing and jumping with joy as the realization of future began to unfold.

At one point, her new council was standing in a circle.

She looked around at each individual member,

and had an unyielding love for every one.

She saw her new family and smiled.

Almost brought to tears.

She was an emotional little thing.

It's common.

Once the bell rang, she venture off to the building of the lord.

The young girl adored Seminary, loving to learn of the gospel.

As soon as she entered the room, she carefully sat down her belongings.

The child laid her head on the desk and was out before another thought could enter her head.

The bell awoke her.

She missed the entire lesson.

She was a walking zombie.

Not knowing where she was going, what class she had next, or even her own thoughts.

With a single phone call to her mother, she went home.

The lassie took at nap from 9:30 to 1:00.

Yes, she slept through all the hours of the school day.

What a wonderful day this young girl experienced.

She returned to school to talk to her new old friend, that alone made her day.

She admires him.

Quite a bit.

The end.

I like friends.

And sleep.

Now I would like to retire to my room of slumber and sweet pleasant dreams.

Til then,

Sleep tight all members of the blogosphere.

Goodnight. 

A Quick Little Update.

I have a new old friend.

He makes me smile.

And giggle.

I like this feeling.

I want Student Council to start now.

I would like my new family to love me.

My new sisters are the greatest.

Please begin now.

Oh wait... 

I have sweater fittings in the morning.

At 6:45 in the morning.

Yay me.

Actually I'm quite excited.

Ecstatic to be exact.

This week is concert week.

This means hard work.

Tears.

Laughter.

Injury.

Dancing.

14 hours at the place I like to call prison.

Man.

I love concert week.

And this is only the beginning.

Please come!

April 28 & 29

7:00 in the auditorium.

$5 dollars at the door.

It is going to be a great show.

My Crush still makes me giddy.

I wish I saw him more.

But what can you do?

I put Medical Assisting into my schedule.

As well as student council.

I cannot wait for my senior year.

I am so impatient.

I want it to start this very moment.

Or at least for it to be summer.

That will do.

5 more weeks.

I can do this.

Only 4 more Mondays right?

Everything Happens For A Reason.

I trust that everything happens for a reason, even when we're not wise enough to see it.


Every one of us gets through the tough times because somebody is there, standing in the gap to close it for us.


The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.


What we're all striving for is authenticity, a spirit-to-spirit connection.


I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time.

Prayers are answered.

Heavenly works in the most mysterious of ways.

I went to a surprise party.

Not with my usual group of friends,

but the children I aspire to be friends with in the next year.

The soccer players.

The tennis plays.

The student council souls.

I began to shake as I entered the back yard where the partying was being held.

With my red headed little sister by my side,

my feet drug me to the back yard.

All eyes looked at me skeptical.

Quizzically.

Glaring, their eyes practically spoke:

"Why is she here?"

I averted my eyes downward, sulking into the basement of the house,

to find the one true place I belong.

The food table.

Yes, food always makes everything better.

After I indulged myself with veggies and sweets,

I began to collect my thoughts.

"I must fit in. I must. You can do this Linsey. Just be yourself. You can do this."

So the self pep up talk began.

It helped a little.

I went back into the sharp cold air,

and began socializing.

Have I ever mentioned I am one of the most bizarre people to walk to planet?

My life is world of awkward.

But that is what makes it fun right?

As I began to climb out of my little shell,

my true colors shone through.

I was my real, crazy self.

From breaking it down in Just Dance 2,

or creating my own dance moves,

interpretive dancing through the entire basement,

or being twirled around the floor by my newly rekindled friendship,

stuffing my face with cake,

making new friends,

bum wars,

scary movies,

star gazing with my Crush,

long hugs in the cold,

and screaming through the streets,

I was able to see my life for what is truly was.

This is my new path.

The best kids around.

So silly.

So innocent.

Kids that dance around like fouls for the heck of it.

And to be honest?

I haven't been that happy in the longest time.

I could feel the Holy Ghost burning inside me.

Whispering that this was my new route.

These friendships are the ones I must pursue.

I could not be more excited.

I cannot remember a time I have laughed that much.

Rolling on the floor.

A smile that forms that is definitely going to leave line in the future.

But that is what this life is all about?

Moments like these?

I believe so.

I am excited for my newly made Cheerleaders.

They are going to have the time of their lives.

It is their path.

My is completely different.

And that's okay.

It's the way Heavenly Father wants it,

so it must be right.

And I am not going to doubt it.

I am going to smile.

Embrace the change.

Because, if my senior year is like tonight,

my life is going to be incredible.

Best. Year. Ever.

I cannot wait.

I am so happy.

Truly happy.

My life is never to go be the same,

but hey,

I think it is only going to get better.

I know it is.

Sometimes people come into your life and 

you know right away that they were meant to be there.

To serve some sort of purpose, 

teach you a lesson 

or help figure out who you are or who you want to become.

You never know who these people may be but,

 when you lock eyes with them, 

you know that every moment they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible,

 painful and unfair but, 

upon reflection, 

you realize that without overcoming those obstacles 

you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. 

Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck.

 Illness, Injury, love, 

lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul.

Without these small tests,

 life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. 

Safe and comfortable

 but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. 

The successes and downfalls that you experience can create who you are, 

and the bad experiences can be learned from. 

In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.

If someone hurts you, 

betrays you or breaks your heart, 

forgive them.

Because they have helped you learn about trust and 

the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. 

If someone loves you, love them back, unconditionally,

 not only because they love you,

 but because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things.

Make every day count.

 Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, 

for you may never be able to experience it again. 

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before,

and actually listen. 

Let yourself fall in love, 

break free and set your sights high.

Hold your head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, 

for if you don’t believe in yourself, 

no one else will believe in you.

You can make anything you wish of your life. 

Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.

And if you love someone tell them, you never know what tomorrow may have in store.

Learn a lesson in life each day that you live.

 Today is the tomorrow you were worried about yesterday. 

Was it worth it?

I Have Been Blessed With A Calming Peace.

Everything happens for a reason.

I know this.

I have a testimony of it.

Today, I decided to attend another soccer game.

My red headed little sister accompanied me, always by my side.

At least I'm not losing her, 

Heck!

The girl is going to be on Dance Company with me.

She is my ultimate besty.

At least I will always have her right?

As I stood in the stands at the game,

screaming and chanting my team on,

talking about an exciting assembly that took place months ago,

belly gut laugh with my best friend,

surrounded by fellow classmates who radiate the light of the Christ,

I had my heart heal a bit.

I saw the picture for what it truly was.

These kids,

student council and what not,

are going to become my new family.

My new best friends.

And let me tell ya.

I could NOT be MORE excited.

I am smiling cheek to cheek just thinking about it.

I am losing my current best friends to the cheer world,

and I know our friendship will dwindle.

But my new council will fill that whole.

Actually....

It won't just fill, it will make it overflow!

I could not be happier with my life right now.

I am at peace.

Prayers are answered.

My Heavenly Father loves me.

I have been blessed with understanding.

A calming peace.

Everything is going to be okay.

He has a plan.

For you.

For me.

I am smiling.

I love soccer.

A certain boy to say the least.

And I love you.

Life is grand.

It Will Never Be The Same.

Well,

Its the end of the world as we know it.

Really.

I apologize to those souls that saw my drastic shedding of tears today.

Quite an emotional day.

My eyes are heavy, drooping, and sore from the water that was drained.

I feel emotionally worn down.

I just want to sleep.

One of the worst days I have had in a long time.

It all started when I went to bed at 2 am,

and awoke promptly at 5:30 am.

Three and half hours of sleep.

Never a good way to start a day.

I traveled to the MATC at 6:00 am to be the first one in line for Medical Assisting.

After two hours of sitting on my behind, the line finally started moving.

I MADE IT IN.

There are only twenty-five students in the class and I got the last spot.

I love my Heavenly Father.

The blessings never cease.

I am so grateful.

I approached the high school with a heavy heart.

It looks like a death chamber.

At least it does right now, with only six weeks left of school.

It will be over soon though.

Except for I am not quite ready for it.

Because...

I am losing my best friends.

Life is never going to be the same.

My bestestesetest friends in the whole world,

have made a finally decision to not try out for Dance Company,

and become Cheerleaders.

I knew it was coming but I thought the girls would juggle both.

Today, the news came out.

They had to choose one or the other.

Their decision was cheer.

Man, I have never seen so many tears.

These girls are the heart and soul of Dance Company.

The core.

My best friends.

It is inevitable that our friendship is going to calm and almost cease to exist.

When you work, fight, and play as a team,

your best friends begin to form in that group.

It goes both ways.

In Cheer.

In SBO.

We are about to live polar opposite lives,

with different people, different experiences.

We are talking the EXACT opposite.

They are just different types of people.

And that's that.

We are going to change.

We are going to seperate.

We will ALWAYS be friends, but how close we are now?

That is going to be gone.

It's high school.

It's life.

I have cried many tears seeing truly how my life is going to change.

It is going to completely change.

Flip 180 degrees.

I don't do well with change.

Hence, the waterfalls from my eyes.

I wish my best friends luck.

I hope they find complete happiness with their new goals in life.

My heart hurts.

But Heavenly Father is watching over me.

He knows what I need.

I love him.

I am grateful.

He blessed me with SBO.

I am going to grow in so many ways.

I am going to be surrounded by the best of the best kids.

I am going to form a family.

I can't wait.

It is highly needed.

I am just going to miss this.

Every moment, every laugh, every smile,

I am going to take in the rest of the year.

Because it will never be the same.

That's what hurts the most.

But I will be okay.

I always pull through.

Somehow.

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

The three ladies not in the uniform will soon be running around in those short skirts.

I will wear my sweater with pride.

Love you girls.

You will always be my best friends.