On The Horizon

Ladies and Gentlemen.

My life.

In quotes.

A new story is on the horizon.

I can feel it.

But I won't ruin the ending now.

Noooo.

That would be silly.

Just know...

The twelfth step in my heartbreak rehabilitation program is about to be complete.

There is a new man in town.

Happy Birthday My Darling.

So...

My cousins are the best.

But one specific cousin is my best friend.

It was her birthday today.

She is officially a big 19 year old.

YAY.

Go Nana!

Thank you for being the big (little) sister I never had.

Thank you for putting up with my dramatic ways.

Thank you for sharing my odd obsessions.

Thank you for laughing at my dumb jokes.

Thank you for being the most amazing person.

You are so special to me.

I don't know what I would do without you in my life.

I LOVE YOU.

Best friend.

Best cousin.

Best sister.

Forever.

Psssssss

Tomorrow the epic tale of my little retreat shall be revealed on the pages of this blog.

AHHHHHHHHHHH.

I love my council.

Every single one.

Magic Everywhere You Look.

My life equals greatness.

This weekend has proven to me that magic really does exist.

In every form.

Thursday night was my cousin's Wedding Dinner.

And let me clarify something right here.
My extended family is close.
We're talking really close.
My cousins are like my second sisters.
My brothers.
My aunts are like my other mothers.
We are weirdly close.
And I love it.

So when I say my cousin is getting married,
It feels like my sister is being wedded.
So it's a big deal.
A really big deal.

The Wedding Dinner was beautiful.
It was down Vintage Lane in the backyard of a mansion.
The yard was covered in flowers of pink and purple.
The smell of steak and strawberry lemonade was in the air.
In the back was a roaring river with swings soaring high.
It was a perfect July day.
The sun was shining warm and bright.

After the food was served the microphone was given to the bride and groom to share a few thoughts.
The story was shared of how they met.
And it brought tears to my eyes.

It all started junior year.
She ran track and was a cheerleader.
His life was dedicated to football.
They had seen each other around but never thought anything of it.
Then, this boy had a life changing idea.
He asked her to junior prom.
And from the way it sounded,
It was one of the best nights of there lives.
Well a couple of Sundays afterward,
this girl was sitting in Young Women were she was listening to a lesson on temple marriage.
She said she had this overwhelming feeling that she was meant to marry this boy.
She knew without out a doubt in her mind it was going to work.
She suddenly escaped into a vision of swinging their child together
and felt such peace.
So the summer began.
And by the end of the summer romance,
they had lost their virgin lips together.
Senior year was perfect.
She was cheer captain.
He was the quarterback.
They went to every dance.
Every weekend.
Too soon,
they graduated and he got his mission call.
She had a full ride to BYU for track.
He had a full ride to the same university for football.
He left the following December.
She sent him off and wrote him faithfully at first.
But life got in the way and she wanted to date.
Make sure he's the one.
So she searched.
They stopped writing.
A letter here and there.
Two years later,
she know he was the one.
Two days after he was home,
she called him and asked him out.
They kissed.
And it was fate from there.
He proposed in May.

Cutest story ever.
It kills me.
The wedding dinner was amazing.

Later that evening...

My life officially ended.
As in,
I have nothing to look forward to.
Harry Potter.
And I discovered a new pet peeve.
Why in the world would people go to the midnight showing if they aren't true fans?
Because it's the cool thing to do?
Oh, I was bugged.
And if you haven't ever read one book?
Really?
I think there should be a Harry Potter test before you can purchase midnight showing tickets.
You must pass with a 80% or higher.
Thank you.
Because us people,
who have read the entire series three times through,
and can pratically quote every line in ever movie,
do not appreciate your lack of love for our dear Harry and your infatuation with following the crowd.
Thank you, again.
I sobbed.
Through out the whole end.
And the car ride home was a whole other thing.
This marks the end of my childhood.
I saw the first movie while I was in second grade.
The Sorcerer's Stone was my very first chapter book.
The whole gang has always been apart of my life.
And an exciting part at that.

When I turned eleven I spent my entire birthday waiting for my 
Hogwarts acceptance letter.
That night, when it never came,
I cried myself to sleep.

Worst. Birthday. Ever.

I'm obsessed.
When it's dark I call out
LUMOS!
But the lights never turn on.

When I want something to come to me, I scream
ACCIO CHOCOLATE!
But the chocolate never comes.

I want to be a witch so bad.
What ever.
I can just live with being a muggle.... I guess.

That's right. We're dorks.
Me and my cousins.

The promptly in the morning,
we headed off to the temple.

And they were married.
Eternally bound.
Forever.

I have never seen a couple more in love.
Watch this video.
You will surely see what I am talking about.

The Video of Love.

Doesn't that say it all.
She looked like a princess.
With her prince.

It is a true fairytale.

See?

Magic does exist.

All you got to do is go looking for it.

Eight Months Gone And I'm Still Reaching.

I don't even know what to say.

8 months.

Of tears.

Of heartache.

Of lonliness.

Of trying to move on.

Of... hell.

I can't believe I have made it this far.

I'm still broken.

Completely.

So..

Instead of explaining my life,

Why not revert to Taylor Swift songs?

Because I'm pretty sure she secretly watches my life with a hidden camera.

Her songs are completely relevant to my life.

I love it.

Music is a story.

I created this playlist.

Our relationship.

Taylor Swift style.

Lets begin.

Enchanted

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

Jump Then Fall

I like the way you sound in the morning
We're on the phone and without a warning
I realize your laugh is the best sound
I have ever heard
I like the way I can't keep my focus
I watch you talk, you didn't notice
I hear the words but all I can think is
We should be together
Every time you smile, I smile
And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Sparks Fly

If you want to know the story

go here:

Drop everything now, Meet me in the pouring rain.

I promise.

It's a great story.

Our Song

Our song is the slamming screen door
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
'Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date man, I didn't kiss her and I should have
And when I got home, 'fore I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

Crazier

You lift my feet off the ground
Spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

The Other Side of The Door


With your face, and your beautiful eyes
And the conversation
With the little white lies.
And the faded picture
Of a beautiful night
You carried me from your car
up the stairs
And I broke down cryin'
Was she worth this mess?
After everything and that little black dress
After everything I must confess,
I need you

Mine


You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it’s like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter
She is the best thing that’s ever been mine."
Hold on, make it last
Hold on, never turn back

Ok. This deserves a story.
Because it is one of my favorites.

So it was our last date.
We just got done eating dinner at Outback
and he were headed to the Brit's apartment to spend our second to last night together.
Little thing about Elder.
He HATES Taylor Swift.
Can't stand her.
I don't know why.
But this song came out and I was completely obsessed because it reminded me of him perfectly.
So on our way to the apartment,
this song came on the radio.
I totally flipped.
I blasted it.
And started belting at the top of my lungs.
He didn't like that too much.
He kept trying to turn it down, but I insisted.
Then... We got lost.
He had no idea where we were.
Okay given... we were on University Parkway in Provo
but we did not know how to get to the Brit's apartment.
So here I am.
Belting and singing, trying to convince him of my love.
He is screaming at me to shut up and is about to blow up.
I am laughing my guts out.
He suddenly pulls over to the side of the busy street.
Leans over me and opens my door.
He clearly states that
 if I as so much make another little giggle I can walk home.
I look him in the eye.
And let out the biggest giggle ever giggled on the planet.
Before I could even comprehend what happened,
He leaped out of his seat and tackled me,
out of the car,
and there we laid on the grass of University Parkway.
With his body on top of mine he whispers
"I'll make you pay for that."
And the tickling and kissing began.
I couldn't move.
Nor did I want to.
So that song is dear to me.
We decided it could be one of our songs.
Well... I did.
He didn't approve.
But I believe it was appropriate.

Today Was A Fairytale

Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale


This song is the song of our last date.
Because indeed,
he did wear a dark gray t-shirt and I did wear a dress.
And I did fall in love.

Long Live

Long live the walls we crashed through
While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered

This is the theme song of our relationship.
It truly is.

Ours

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, but my choice is you
So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high
The waters rough
But this love is ours

Superman

And I watch you fly around the world
And I hope you don't save some other girl
Don't forget, don't forget about me.
I'm far away but I'll never let you go
I'm lovestruck and looking out the window
Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be
Right here wishing the flowers were from you
Wishing the card was from you
Wishing the call was from you
'Cause I've loved you from the very first day

Breathe


Music starts playin like the end of a sad movie
It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy
And it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple
Never easy
Never a clean break
No one here to save me
You're the only thing I know
Like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe without you, 
But I have to


If This Was A Movie

Listen for yourself.
It's my theme song for my life right now.


Tim Mcgraw


But when you think Tim McGraw
I hope you think my favorite song
The one we danced to all night long
The moon like a spotlight on the lake
When you think happiness
I hope you think that little black dress
Think of my head on your chest
And my old faded blue jeans
When you think Tim McGraw
I hope you think of me


And I hope when he gets back our life will still follow...


Mary's Song


Well, I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn't that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we'd really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my...
Take me back to the creek beds we turned up
Two A.M. riding in your truck and 
all I need is you next to me
Take me back to the time we had our very first fight
The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight
You stayed outside till the morning light
Oh my my my my
A few years had gone and come around
We were sitting at our favorite spot in town
And you looked at me, got down on one knee...






Thank you Taylor Swift for writing my life.
It helps.
A lot.

16 more to go.
I can do this.
1/3 of the way done.
That's exciting.

Miss you Elder.

Quotes For The Current Life.

Remember our first date?

I wore the shirt you gave me for my birthday.

My mom awkwardly made us sit on the couch for pictures.

We went with all graduated people.

I was completely awkward.

We watched this movie.

You tickled my back.

I tickled yours.

Time flies my dear.

Strawberry.

And I mean that forever.

This has absolutely nothing to do with my life.

But... I'm obsessed.

So it's normal.

Life wonderful.

I am so pleased.

So blessed.

And I think I might have found a keeper.

Actually I'm almost positive I did.

His blogger identity shall be arriving soon.

Til then,

Tootles.

Young Love.

My cousin is getting married.

A wedding is being planned.

They are high school sweethearts.

She sent him off on his mission.

Dated while he was gone,

but as soon as he got home,

she knew he was the one.

Tonight we were making her homemade bridesmaid dresses.

Her phone buzzed.

She grabbed it and clicked those Blackberry buttons.

It was him.

A smile spread across her face.

Her cheeks turned a little pink,

and she let out a giggle of a girl truly in love.

It made me smile.

It made me excited for the future.

I love love.

Don't you?

A Little Something To Think About.

Oh, The Days Of Happiness.

I can remember my last night with him perfectly.

It was the 8th of November. Elder was leaving on the 10th for the MTC. This Monday was a chance for us to say goodbye and spend our final moments together.

As usual, we met at our secret spot.

To this day, no one knows where it is. It is our little secret.

It is beyond special to me, I have not been there since that night.

Anyways,

We met up at 8, and my curfew was pushed to midnight because of the occasion.

Four hours.

That was all we had to be with each other.

I remember his car pulling around the corner.

My heart dropped knowing this was the last time I would witness his arrival to our precious spot.

We got out of our cars simultaneously.

Before I knew it, I was being spun in the air.

A perfect moment in the arms of my Elder.

He was a little excited to see me. 

When our embrace finally ended, I looked into his eyes.

A better definition would be melted.

I can still remember the pain that shown through his ice blue eyes.

Softly, he placed his hand of the back of my neck and drew me in.

Never in my life had I known a more powerful kiss.

It was gentle and soft, but the pain of the situation stung every moment.

After he pulled away, I saw this moment for what it truly was.

This kiss was the first of our last moments together for two years.

My heart shattered that very second.

I would not waste this night.

In anyway.

After climbing into the backseat of his car, our night really began.

We took the first hour to bear our testimonies to each other.

I have NEVER felt the spirit so strong.

The testimony of a soon-to-be missionary is outstanding.

The faith and willingness of his heart was remarkable.

I was blown away.

I only fell that much harder.

The next hour was... well... very intimate. 

Can you really blame us?

This was our last time together, 

Of course he was going to catch all the rain he could before his two year drought.

Bur randomly, at one point, he pulled away and became angry.

Almost furious.

I began to wonder what in the world I did to trigger this emotion.

Suddenly he exclaimed:

"Why now?! I have waited for my the girl of my dreams for all of high school. We even went to school together! Why are you in my life now? Right before I leave? We could have been so happy my entire senior year. Why did it have to happen like this?" and so forth.

I was shocked. My face was probably priceless.

I knew I had thought these thoughts before but I never knew they crossed Elder'smind.

My reply was:

"Ok, lets go back to your senior year. Where were you mentally? Where were you spiritually? Lets be honest, you are a different person than you were back in high school. What we have is special, and it means so much more because we are more mature now. Lets just be grateful that this did happen. And that we are in love now."

That was the first time love was ever brought up.

I buried my head in his chest, trying to disguise the initial shock and embarrassment.

I did not know how he would react.

If that would ruin everything.

I knew I felt it, but I was never quite sure where he stood.

Silence.

Cricket cricket.

Oh great, I just ruined everything.

After an eternity, Elder surprised me.

He slid me onto his lap and cradled me in his arms.

For about ten minutes we just sat in quietness.

I was in complete bliss.

At least he didn't shun me like I thought he would.

To my surprise, he began to tickle words onto my back.

This entertained us for a while, he wrote a word, I would guess it.

Silly sayings, inside jokes.

Before I knew it, he wrote.

I am in love with you.

My head snapped up instantly.

I stared at him. 

Ridiculously.

"Linsey, I have never had stronger feelings for any other girl in my life. I am in love you. I want you to wait for me. I know I could marry and be the happiest guy alive."

Ohhhhh myyyyyy goodness.

Talk about your heart stopping!

Giddiness filled my body, and I just leaned in to kiss him.

Just taking a walk down memory lane.

What I would give to go back to that night...

Sometimes You Got To Do What You Got To Do.

What in the world just happened to my life?

Impulse.

No thinking.

Just feelings.

And a little bit of madness.

My life.

There you go.

I have always wanted to try it.

Just push away my fears and insecurities.

Let my heart take over and give in.

So I did.

And...

I don't know what to do.

What to think.

How to conduct myself.

Should I be embarrassed?

Maybe a little.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

This post makes absolutely no sense.

But welcome to the rapid, senseless mind of Linsey Brown.

It's an issue.

I wish I could tell you everything.

But I won't.

Just understand I'm a teenage girl.

My decisions are rash and bizarre.

I blame summer.

This season does something to my mind and my heart.

It makes me crazy.

I love it.

This is how memories are made right?