Well, This Is As Good As It Gets.

Alright bloggers, listen up.

Update right here.

I talked to my Crush again today.

Honestly, something is wrong me.

I need to take How-To-Talk-To-Boys 101.

Pronto.

Sign me up.

Because if I can get better at this whole communication thing,

maybe he won't think I am such freak?

As he approached, 

I got butterflies and the result was a massive smile that took over my face.

I exclaimed a "Hello" followed with an "How are you?"

He replied that he was good.

Silence.

In utter panic, I began to rack my brain with a conversation starter.

Could I think of anything?

Of course not.

I was under pressure, give me a break.

All I could think of was,

"Say something you idiot, before he walks away!!"

He was one step ahead of me.

"So... Soccer is good."

I, internally, started cracking up.

It was quite the conversation starter.

I'm not going to sugar coat anything,

You can actually feel the nervousness in the air.

We will get over it eventually right?

We then discussed the soccer schedule for the next week and

my attendance to all the games.

Then he asked if he should come to my Dance Company concert

that is coming up in the next month.

I replied that I would love that.

Secretly?

That makes me nervous.

But happy.

Woo.

Good good stuff.

After he left, I throw off my packback

and ran through the halls.

It was kind of exciting.

On another note:

No news from Elder.

It has been a month.

I get his family and friends email every week,

but no letter.

Another realization.

I have been going through the 5 Stages of Grief.
Right now, I am numb.
I try not to think about him.
I don't blog about him.
That time seems like a whole different life.
A completely different realm.
I have shut it out.
My mind is occupied with other things.
Other boys. :)
But deep down?
The pain is still there.
4 1/2 months.
I miss you Elder.
Please write me.
As soon as possible,
Or else.

California in 9 days.
Sunshine here I come.
Disneyland, Linsey Brown is coming your way.

I am running for SBO.
VOTE FOR ME!

Huzzah for an Email.

I got an e-mail today.

Not directly to me, but my Elder's little sister forwarded it me.

And let me tell you.

It was LONNNGGG over due.

Between the ACT today and helping at a cheer clinic

....lets just say, I have had an off day.

My brain is fried.

I am stressed.

This e-mail? Ya, it made my day.

Mainly because it is crazy to see how much he has changed.

In the best way possible.

He always... well... had a problem with humility.

That is why the Lord sent him to a third world country.

That is why he is sleeping under tin roofs and dirt floors.

He is being humbled.

It is the best thing for him.

In his e-mail, he included these two inspiring quotes:

The first step to walking in righteousness is simply to try. We must try to believe. Try to learn of God. Read the scriptures, study the words of the latter day prophet, choose to listen to the Father, and do the things he asks of us. Try and keep on trying until that which seems difficult becomes possible, and that which seems only possible becomes habit and real part of you. 

Dieter Uchtdorf

Dismiss the destructive, and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future of your family, your friends, and your neighbors. God doesn´t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with his help, where you are willing to go... and every day ought to be the start of a new year, a new life. Such is the wonder of faith, repentance, and the miracle of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Jeffery R. Holland

Man... I am so proud to call him my missionary.

He is extraordinary :)

I am a lucky girl.

The Emails

The weekly emails to my two favorite missionaries. I love them dearly. I know they are a bit repatative but what can ya do? Go ahead, take a look at how supportive I am. I try :)

Dear JOSHYYYY,

So help me if you don't email me back I am going to rage. I miss you bro. I read your emails every week. I wish I could put into words how proud I am of you. You are so noble. You are serving your Heavenly Father with all your heart. You are growing in every way. Spiritually, mentally, and physically. (Possibly not in the best way on that last one.) I fasted for you and Aaron today. I want to help in every possible. I pray for you day and night but I felt a special urge to fast today. I fasted hoping that you will find success and the fight to press forward. I fasted knowing that the lord will bless you. My big brother. My hero. I love you so much Elder Brown. Please word harder than you ever have this week. Really listen to the promptings of the spirit and you will know what to do. Guess what? I am seventeen. Ah. (Dinosaur Noise). And... I registered for Senior year. How is that even possible. No one knows. Your baby sister is growing up. I am going to the MATC to get my Medical Assisting degree next year. Wish you were here to help me make these choices but I guess you will just see me when I am an accomplished and graduated high school student. YES! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!! Tell Elder Knight I say hello :) 

You favorite sibling of all time,

Linsey Lou!

Ps I have that Eclipse picture up in my room. I have never been more proud. It is epic.

Dear Elder,

It is crazy to think that this week on the 10th you will have been out officially 3 months. That seems absolutely bizarre to me. A few months ago we were just two kids in love and now look at where we are. You, Elder, are in Guatemala serving your Heavenly Father. Doing the best thing you can ever do for yourself yet being so selfless at the same time. I am 17, surviving high school, and I just registered for senior year. Can you believe that? In 6 months I will be a senior. Life is going by too fast. I am getting freaked out. Before I know it you are going to be home. Enjoy every moment Elder. Know I still think about you and pray for your success. Today actually, I fasted for you and my brother. I fasted in hopes that you will find families ready to here the gospel and families who follow through. I fasted hoping that you will push forward. That you will work harder than you have ever worked in your entire life. I know this will result in the Lord blessing you thus making your mission worthwhile. You are one the most incredible people I have ever met. Think of who you are going to be when you come home? I may not even be worthy to stand in your presence! just kidding. I love you, and will until the day I see you again. I am still waiting for that letter. I know it will come, eventually. Thank you for everything.

With all my heart,

Linsey :)