On The Horizon

Ladies and Gentlemen.

My life.

In quotes.

A new story is on the horizon.

I can feel it.

But I won't ruin the ending now.

Noooo.

That would be silly.

Just know...

The twelfth step in my heartbreak rehabilitation program is about to be complete.

There is a new man in town.

Eight Months Gone And I'm Still Reaching.

I don't even know what to say.

8 months.

Of tears.

Of heartache.

Of lonliness.

Of trying to move on.

Of... hell.

I can't believe I have made it this far.

I'm still broken.

Completely.

So..

Instead of explaining my life,

Why not revert to Taylor Swift songs?

Because I'm pretty sure she secretly watches my life with a hidden camera.

Her songs are completely relevant to my life.

I love it.

Music is a story.

I created this playlist.

Our relationship.

Taylor Swift style.

Lets begin.

Enchanted

This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonder-struck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you

Jump Then Fall

I like the way you sound in the morning
We're on the phone and without a warning
I realize your laugh is the best sound
I have ever heard
I like the way I can't keep my focus
I watch you talk, you didn't notice
I hear the words but all I can think is
We should be together
Every time you smile, I smile
And every time you shine, I'll shine for you

Sparks Fly

If you want to know the story

go here:

Drop everything now, Meet me in the pouring rain.

I promise.

It's a great story.

Our Song

Our song is the slamming screen door
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
'Cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date man, I didn't kiss her and I should have
And when I got home, 'fore I said amen
Asking God if He could play it again

Crazier

You lift my feet off the ground
Spin me around
You make me crazier, crazier
Feels like I'm falling and I
I'm lost in your eyes
You make me crazier,

I'm Only Me When I'm With You

I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
the other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.

The Other Side of The Door


With your face, and your beautiful eyes
And the conversation
With the little white lies.
And the faded picture
Of a beautiful night
You carried me from your car
up the stairs
And I broke down cryin'
Was she worth this mess?
After everything and that little black dress
After everything I must confess,
I need you

Mine


You said, "I remember how we felt sitting by the water
And every time I look at you, it’s like the first time
I fell in love with a careless man’s careful daughter
She is the best thing that’s ever been mine."
Hold on, make it last
Hold on, never turn back

Ok. This deserves a story.
Because it is one of my favorites.

So it was our last date.
We just got done eating dinner at Outback
and he were headed to the Brit's apartment to spend our second to last night together.
Little thing about Elder.
He HATES Taylor Swift.
Can't stand her.
I don't know why.
But this song came out and I was completely obsessed because it reminded me of him perfectly.
So on our way to the apartment,
this song came on the radio.
I totally flipped.
I blasted it.
And started belting at the top of my lungs.
He didn't like that too much.
He kept trying to turn it down, but I insisted.
Then... We got lost.
He had no idea where we were.
Okay given... we were on University Parkway in Provo
but we did not know how to get to the Brit's apartment.
So here I am.
Belting and singing, trying to convince him of my love.
He is screaming at me to shut up and is about to blow up.
I am laughing my guts out.
He suddenly pulls over to the side of the busy street.
Leans over me and opens my door.
He clearly states that
 if I as so much make another little giggle I can walk home.
I look him in the eye.
And let out the biggest giggle ever giggled on the planet.
Before I could even comprehend what happened,
He leaped out of his seat and tackled me,
out of the car,
and there we laid on the grass of University Parkway.
With his body on top of mine he whispers
"I'll make you pay for that."
And the tickling and kissing began.
I couldn't move.
Nor did I want to.
So that song is dear to me.
We decided it could be one of our songs.
Well... I did.
He didn't approve.
But I believe it was appropriate.

Today Was A Fairytale

Can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale


This song is the song of our last date.
Because indeed,
he did wear a dark gray t-shirt and I did wear a dress.
And I did fall in love.

Long Live

Long live the walls we crashed through
While the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid
Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders, one day we will be remembered

This is the theme song of our relationship.
It truly is.

Ours

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
They'll judge it like they know about me and you
And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
The jury's out, but my choice is you
So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
And life makes love look hard
The stakes are high
The waters rough
But this love is ours

Superman

And I watch you fly around the world
And I hope you don't save some other girl
Don't forget, don't forget about me.
I'm far away but I'll never let you go
I'm lovestruck and looking out the window
Don't forget, don't forget where I'll be
Right here wishing the flowers were from you
Wishing the card was from you
Wishing the call was from you
'Cause I've loved you from the very first day

Breathe


Music starts playin like the end of a sad movie
It's the kind of ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy
And it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around
And we know it's never simple
Never easy
Never a clean break
No one here to save me
You're the only thing I know
Like the back of my hand
And I can't breathe without you, 
But I have to


If This Was A Movie

Listen for yourself.
It's my theme song for my life right now.


Tim Mcgraw


But when you think Tim McGraw
I hope you think my favorite song
The one we danced to all night long
The moon like a spotlight on the lake
When you think happiness
I hope you think that little black dress
Think of my head on your chest
And my old faded blue jeans
When you think Tim McGraw
I hope you think of me


And I hope when he gets back our life will still follow...


Mary's Song


Well, I was sixteen when suddenly
I wasn't that little girl you used to see
But your eyes still shined like pretty lights
And our daddies used to joke about the two of us
They never believed we'd really fall in love
And our mamas smiled and rolled their eyes
And said oh my my my...
Take me back to the creek beds we turned up
Two A.M. riding in your truck and 
all I need is you next to me
Take me back to the time we had our very first fight
The slamming of doors instead of kissing goodnight
You stayed outside till the morning light
Oh my my my my
A few years had gone and come around
We were sitting at our favorite spot in town
And you looked at me, got down on one knee...






Thank you Taylor Swift for writing my life.
It helps.
A lot.

16 more to go.
I can do this.
1/3 of the way done.
That's exciting.

Miss you Elder.

Summer Nights Have All The Answers.

My life feels like a puzzle.

For the longest time it felt as though it was broken.

Crumbled.

Every piece of myself was alone

 and some were lost.

Other bits were damaged.

Some could to be used.

But others were destroyed to the point where they could never fit properly again.

Day by day,

minute by minute,

the little pieces are coming together.

Today was one of those days.

It was a day were I officially became Historian.

Dear Victoria is in my possession.

The laptop is now mine.

My hard work is about to begin.

And I can't even wait.

A day where I went to a certain meeting.

A meeting with my new council.

We went over rules and got our little handbook.

I have never been so blessed.

As I sat there,

in my advisor's humble home,

the pieces fit.

I looked around at my new family and my heart filled with love.

Over flowing.

I have lost a few close friends,

and the tears still come at night when I think of them not returning to Dance Company.

But,

the big man upstairs knows what he is doing.

He knows this is what I need.

And what's right for me.

So I shall listen for his guidance.

He loves me.

He will help me.

And this is one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.

It was a day where I could feel the warm wind whip across my sunburnt face

and lash my hair over my face.

I was taught of very special version of baseball by a very special boy.

We played for several hours.

I was awful.

Zero hand-I coordination, right here.

Luckily, he helped me.

He actually did everything.

He makes me...

Giddy.

Really.

I wasn't expecting it.

I wasn't expecting my heart to pound when he said my name.

My tummy to fill with butterflies when he looked at me in the eyes.

I still don't understand it.

I guess we'll see.

It was a simple day where a snow cone fixed all my problems.

Another piece fell into place.

I was comfortable with silence.

Conversation was easy.

The wind softly touched my cheeks and sparked a smile.

I looked up to the big blue sky.

I took a deep breath in and realized how absolutely beautiful my life was.

It was imperfect.

It has holes.

It's torn and sometimes feels like it is impossible to go on.

But in the end when you really step back and look at the big picture you understand that 

you are you.

I am me.

I giggle a little too much.

I don't always say the right thing and most of the time I make a fool out of myself.

I was able to forget about that one boy that knows exactly how to hurt me.

How to crush me.

Because he is wrong.

In that moment as I grinned and giggled at the sun,

I realized that my little flaws make me who I am.

I accepted that fact.

A piece fell into place.

And I understood the fact that no matter what,

I'm going to be okay.

It was a beautiful summer day where riding a tandem was the perfect treat.

Laughing with one of your favorite people.

Trying to crash.

Taking awkward pictures.

Riding down massive hills.

Pedaling until my legs almost gave up.

It was perfect.

It was a day where a secret was shared.

Where I was shocked.

And I loved it.

It showed that they aren't all the same.

It was a night filled with randomness.

The idea came across my mind to order 50 chicken nuggets.

I have always wanted to.

And this was the perfect opportunity.

We went to the football field of my greatest rival to enjoy our meal.

We ran across the field.

Played on old football equipment.

Talked in a circle.

I looked up once more to the dazzling stars.

I wondered if Elder was looking at them at the exact same moment.

I thought how special that might be.

So I took in that moment.

I completely lived in it.

My tattered and worn down heart felt completely healed.

As if the wound was never there.

It was a moment where everything was perfect.

And then that moment ended.

Instead of sulking,

I looked around at the loving facing surrounding me.

And I laughed.

My life is amazing.

Why would I sulk?

It's silly to waist such an incredible night.

So I didn't.

And lets just say,

I feel spoiled.

In every aspect.

And the pieces are beginning to fit.

Every last one of them.

I love my life.

Please.

Tell me some exciting summer adventures. :)

I'm Back.

Sorry blog.

I have disappeared. 

I have been busy.

Girls camp was amazing.

Truly.

Exactly what I need.

I LOVED IT.

Our theme was Tangled.

We watched it three times.

Life was good.

The children of the Ward.

I adore them.

Every single one of them.

A life sized Rapunzel.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

I about died when I sawher.

The little sister.

We're princesses. 

We have endured six years of girls camp with each other.

SIX YEARS.

Long nights in tents.

Torturous hikes.

Rain storms.

Friendship bracelets.

Awful canoe rides.

Tears.

Manny many tears.

Love you Madison.

You'll always be my ward sista.

The beehives in my room.

Most of the time I don't feel like a Laurel.

These Beehives teach me everything.

I admire them.

Saturday night was spent with my girl Justine.

Our lives were shared.

We went and saw the fireworks.

I love fireworks.

Sunday I was asked to give a talk in Sacrament meeting about camp.

I was asked to speak on our theme.

Which meant...

My talk was based off Tangled.

Best. Talk. Ever.

It went well.

And great.

And fantastic.

I love speaking.

I love voicing my thoughts and my opinions.

Weird I know.

Today...

Was rough.

Busy is a better word.

I worked for six hours.

Worked on my solo for two.

Doesn't sound like a lot.

But I can't move.

I like my couch.

It's my friend.

I think I am going to go swing tonight.

Wish me luck :)

Doesn't Get Better Than This.

Summer nights.

Best.

Thing.

Ever.

Long boarding with one of my most favorite people in this planet.

And a McDonalds run with my ladies.

Life doesn't get better than this.

And Things Went Better Than Planned.

First Week of Summer.

Done.

Check.

Things accomplished:

• Watched Twlight
• Watched New Moon
• Watched Eclipse
• Watched Harry Potter 6
• Watched Harry Potter 7
• Read half of Twilight
• Read half of Harry Potter 7
• Worked a 25 hour week
• Attempted to go to Seven Peaks
• Devoured 3 different flavored snow cones
• Made cookies
• Went to the temple
• And sucessfully hung out with my cousins every night

I have vetoed high school.

I don't want to talk to anyone.

I don't want to do anything crazy.

In the words of Bruno Mars

"Today I don't feel like doing anything.

I just want to lay in my bed.

Don't feel like picking up my phone,

So leave a message at the tone.

Cuz today I don't feel like doing anything."

That has been my motto.

I have not put at ounce of make up on my face in the last week.

Nor have a put any heat or product to my hair.

If ever I need to look semi-ly decent,

the mane is thrown back into a slicked ponytail.

Because you know why?

I don't really care anymore.

I have given up on having a crazy summer.

Everyone is gone,

And I have no thrive to do anything insane.

Instead I would rather spend my days working.

Or sleeping.

Or...

Spending time with the most amazing ladies in the world.

My cousins.

They make me laugh so hard,

Diet Coke spurts out my nose.

And that hurts.

So we laugh even harder.

We giggle until our tummies hurt and we are crying for oxygen.

We realize maybe we aren't the most obsessed fans in the world because we never worried about the oil or whether they weigh foam or concrete.

And we are grateful we haven't reached that point.

We spend the night discussing our ties, glasses, and tickets as we watch part 1 of Harry Potter 7.

I have never been so happy.

Because here's the thing.

Friends are going to come and go.

It's high school.

Life is constantly changing.

You lose friends to cheerleading.

You gain some through Student Council.

Change.

Change.

Change.

One thing is constant.

And that is family.

No matter how much you want them go away at times,

or how annoyed you get,

Family is never going to change.

After high school,

you are never going to see half the people you are surrounded by everyday.

But where ever you go in life,

or whatever you become,

Family is always there to back you up.

And I'm glad I have realized this now.

Because I have the coolest family ever!

We are nuts.

I am never going to be able to bring a boy to a family party because I know they will scare him off.

We have to be engaged first.

So then he can't back out.

But that is why I love my extended family so dearly.

We are so blunt.

And hilarious.

I love it.

I love them.

Today I went to the temple for the first time in ten months.

Why so long you ask?

To be honest I don't know.

Things just come up.

And I lost the drive to go.

I forgot how much I loved that place.

And how it clears your mind.

It helps you set your priorities right.

It brings you happiness.

You feel your savior closer than ever.

My goodness.

And since I haven't been on the temple grounds in almost a year,

I decided to document the day.

One thing about Linsey?

I'm really into photography.

Lots.

I wish I was better and more creative...

But what can you do?

I like editing.

Bringing out the natural beauty in everything and everyone.

Making every detail brighter and full of happiness.

And on temple grounds?

Complete happiness.

If ever you are struggling.

Feeling weak or down.

Insecure or alone.

Go to the House of the Lord.

It's fantastic how things work out. 

I'm Growing Up Too Fast.

Wow.

I survived my junior year.

I'm alive.

And well.

WHAT IN THE WORLD???

How did this year go by so fast?

How is junior year already over?

I'm a senior?

My heart just dropped.

My belly flopped.

I'm still a sophomore.

I'm still a baby.

A little girl.

I'm five years old at heart.

How am I already a senior?

I'm freaking out here.

FREAKING OUT.

Tonight was graduation.

I watched every single one of my beloved seniors 

take that long walk and receive the diploma they had been waiting twelve years to get.

I cried.

A lot.

Going to school and not seeing

Matt,

Steve,

Emily,

Nate,

Cam,

Maddie,

or any of them...

It is going to kill me.

I am going to be the oldest.

The biggest.

Like I said before...

I'M A 5 YEAR OLD.

I can't handle this whole senior thing.

As I sat at graduation, I made myself a promise.

I will NOT waste a single moment of this next year.

I will live the best senior year any one has ever experienced.

Senioritis shall not overcome me.

I will be the best SBO ever.

I will love everyone.

I will go to EVERYTHING.

I will truly live this next year.

I will make every day worth while.

I will love unconditionally.

I almost can't wait.

It is going to be the best year of my life.

But for now,

it is summer.

And I shall love this warmth.

Embrace the whole no homework gig.

I will have the summer of a life time.

Then the best senior year ever.

And then I move out.

GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I still have a year of childhood left.

I will love every second of it.

Mark my words.

Right Around The Corner.

If a June night could talk, it would probably boast it invented romance.  
Bern Williams

The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
Wallace Stevens



Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass on a summer day listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is hardly a waste of time. 
John Lubbock


Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Henry James

Summer. Summer. Summer.

I can smell it.

Taste it.

It's in the air.

Make it come fast.

FASTER.

Yesterday,

I went to my concert.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

BRUNO.

I THINK I WANT TO MARRY YOU.

get it?

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

BECAUSE I WOULD CATCH A GRENADE FOR YOU.

Best. Night. Ever.

Here are some pictures.

This was my date.

What a winner.

The night was amazing.

Amazing.

Like...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I'm speechless.

Fantastic.

Today felt like

SUMMMMMEEEEEERRRRRR.

I didn't go to first period.

Because that is completely over-rated.

During second, things got better.

I thought I had a much over due fine..

But.

I don't.

So.

I get my yearbook!

During precalc,

I left.

And I went into the hall to see my Crush.

We were given a dare.

It might happen in the summer.

Maybe.

Hopefully.

What?

Then I jumped into my best friend's car.

Good ol' Billy Jean.

We went to Cafe Rio.

I ate a WHOLE burrito by myself.

Pure heaven.

I went back to the school to discuss grades with my teachers.

We duct-taped a girl to the lockers instead of going to fourth period.

I giggled.

A lot.

Then we went swimming.

Kind of.

Then we made cookies.

Then a sophomore serenaded me on a piano.

I sat and listened.

I thought about how good life is.

I was in my swimming suit and cover up.

Laying on the couch.

There was no worry of homework or a test coming up.

I have a very special boy in my life.

The one that gives me butterflies.

Summer is right around the corner.

I go to Lake Powell next week.

Grades are done.

Finished.

I survived my junior year.

No more stress for the next three months.

I have the bestest friends in the world.

My little red-headed sister.

My soul sister.

My Romeo.

My favorite sophomore.

My almost-step-sister/cousin.

I am so blessed.

I love my life.

Plus I got to wear a skirt today.

SUMMMMEEERRR.

I love you.

Time To Move On And Invite The Summer.

Tonight is the night I have been waiting for.

Tonight I will see one of my musical icons in person.

And he shall sing for me.

I will sing back.

And we will have a moment.

A boy will be next to me.

One that makes me happier than anyone else.

I hope we dance.

I know I will.

This is his first concert.

I hope it will be special for him.

Because I know it will be for me.

The concert is being at the UCCU center.

I found this out on Friday.

And I almost canceled this little party.

I went up to my room.

I hyperventilated a bit.

After a nap and some craisins,

I pulled myself together.

The last time I entered that center, I went to a concert.

An amazing one in fact.

BOB, Iyaz, and Jason Derulo.

All in one.

I do not enjoy music like that,

but Elder did.

And he wanted me to go with him.

So I went.

And well,

you know how that went.

That was our first date.

Our first connection.

And serendipitously, tonight I shall be sitting one row lower in the same section.

Yes.

Almost to exact same seats.

Elder has been on my mind A LOT lately.

And it's been hard.

Really hard.

Utah County has decided to turn into Seattle.

Rain. Rain. Rain.

Memories. Memories. Memories.

Not to mention,

I am falling for another boy.

Quite fast, and quite hard.

Despite my little cracks and broken heart,

I have let myself trust.

Have faith.

But I can't help but have Elder constantly there in the back of my head.

I know its over.

But all those emotions and feeling I have been trying to repress are opening up again.

But for someone else.

It is terrifying.

I can't get Elder out.

I know he has forgotten about me.

Why can't I forget about him?

And just move on?

Ugh.

I hate love.

I love love.

Summer will help.

No more school, no more stress.

I will just be free.

Completely free.

Summer is the time when girls go barefoot, 

and their hearts are just as free as their toes.

I am not going to hold back.

I know I will have regrets if I do.

I won't let thoughts of Elder drag me down.

I am going have faith.

I love the Notebook.

It makes me smile.

It makes me cry.

Here is a quote I have altered. 

I believe it fits my life.

Enjoy.

My Dearest Elder. 

I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. 
I love you. I'll be seeing you. Love, Linsey.