Friday, September 23, 2011

Dear Me.

Dear 30 year old me,

This is your 17 year old self. 
There are a few things I would like to tell you. 
I hope you are well. 
I definitely hope you a married.
 With a child or two. 
I hope you are with the love of your life.
 I hope he has red hair. 
If not, I know you wouldn't pick anyone but the best. 
I'm sure he's a keeper. 
I pray he has the biggest calve muscles you have ever seen.
I hope he builds forts with you.
 I hope he still makes you giggle.
 One piece of advice.
 Never, ever, let the giggles and swooning stop.
 It's possible. 
Go on dates. 
Be partners in crime.
Make homemade pizzas together.
 Learn to play his favorite sport and love it. 
Because we all know you are a little uncoordinated but the fact that you tried is all that matters. 
Kiss him. 
A lot.
 You are married now.
 Dance around the kitchen to Justin Bieber and make him shake his head in amused disappointment. 
Make sure he puts up with your Edward/Stephan obsession.
If he doesn't... Well hunny...
You got a long life ahead of you.
I hope he is gentle. 
I hope he takes pride in his priesthood.
I hope he loves his mom and talks to her everyday.
I hope he strives for light in his life.
I pray you two have a temple marriage.
Bound for eternity.
Because that's how much you love each other.
Enough to last forever.
I hope he never does anything to break you.
You have had enough of that to last a lifetime.
Trust me.
I know.
But most of all make sure he puts the Lord first.
Even before you.
Because if that is the first priority,
all the things I hoped for will fall right into place.

I hope you look back and see how much you have accomplished. 
I hope you smile at all the crazy nights and wild friends. 
The season of sneaking out. 
The many different awkward situations. 
That one time you passed out and fell out of your seat
. The night you won your pageant. 
The evening you became a Distinguished Young Women.
When the college doors seemed to finally open.
Remember sophomore year. 
Remember the first senior who took you up to the mountains.
Remember the first time he held your hand.
Remember the one that broke your heart.
Rememeber "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift.
Remember the one that changed you.
The one that will always be apart of you and your life.
Remember that one summer.
Where the rules didn't apply and you did what ever you want.
Remember the mess you got yourself into.
That wasn't fun.
Don't do that again.
Remember starting junior year with no hopes of ever finding a true man.
Remember the day Joshy left.
Dropping him off at the MTC.
How hard it was.
How rewarding.
Remember losing hope.
Remember the night you met him.
The one that came into your life unexpectedly.
The one that made his mark on you forever.
Remember the good times.
Remember the concert.
Remember the belly gut laughs.
Never ever forget what he told you.
Because it was real.
No matter what they might say.
Remember it was beautiful.
Because it was.
Remember that first love.

I want you to look at the moon.
You see it?
Waayyyyy up there in the sky?
That moon has gone around this earth 4470 times since I have written this letter.
And guess what?
You are still going.
You are making it.
The struggles?
Ya, their there.
Is it hard?
Of course.
But worth it?
Oh yeah.

D&C 121:7-8

My daughter, 
peace be unto thy soul
thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but
 a small moment;
 And then, if thou endure it well, 
God shall exalt thee on high
thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.
So, 30 year old me. 
Remember the days of being wild, reckless, lovestruck teenager.
But also remember,
You are living the dream.


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  2. Oh how I have sincerely missed your frequent Blog posts!
    PS) I simply adored this post.