Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Summer Nights Have All The Answers.

My life feels like a puzzle.
For the longest time it felt as though it was broken.
Every piece of myself was alone
 and some were lost.
Other bits were damaged.
Some could to be used.
But others were destroyed to the point where they could never fit properly again.

Day by day,
minute by minute,
the little pieces are coming together.

Today was one of those days.
It was a day were I officially became Historian.
Dear Victoria is in my possession.
The laptop is now mine.
My hard work is about to begin.
And I can't even wait.

A day where I went to a certain meeting.
A meeting with my new council.
We went over rules and got our little handbook.
I have never been so blessed.
As I sat there,
in my advisor's humble home,
the pieces fit.
I looked around at my new family and my heart filled with love.
Over flowing.
I have lost a few close friends,
and the tears still come at night when I think of them not returning to Dance Company.
the big man upstairs knows what he is doing.
He knows this is what I need.
And what's right for me.
So I shall listen for his guidance.
He loves me.
He will help me.
And this is one of the greatest blessings I have ever received.

It was a day where I could feel the warm wind whip across my sunburnt face
and lash my hair over my face.
I was taught of very special version of baseball by a very special boy.
We played for several hours.
I was awful.
Zero hand-I coordination, right here.
Luckily, he helped me.
He actually did everything.
He makes me...
I wasn't expecting it.
I wasn't expecting my heart to pound when he said my name.
My tummy to fill with butterflies when he looked at me in the eyes.
I still don't understand it.
I guess we'll see.

It was a simple day where a snow cone fixed all my problems.
Another piece fell into place.
I was comfortable with silence.
Conversation was easy.
The wind softly touched my cheeks and sparked a smile.
I looked up to the big blue sky.
I took a deep breath in and realized how absolutely beautiful my life was.
It was imperfect.
It has holes.
It's torn and sometimes feels like it is impossible to go on.
But in the end when you really step back and look at the big picture you understand that 
you are you.
I am me.
I giggle a little too much.
I don't always say the right thing and most of the time I make a fool out of myself.
I was able to forget about that one boy that knows exactly how to hurt me.
How to crush me.
Because he is wrong.
In that moment as I grinned and giggled at the sun,
I realized that my little flaws make me who I am.
I accepted that fact.
A piece fell into place.
And I understood the fact that no matter what,
I'm going to be okay.

It was a beautiful summer day where riding a tandem was the perfect treat.
Laughing with one of your favorite people.
Trying to crash.
Taking awkward pictures.
Riding down massive hills.
Pedaling until my legs almost gave up.
It was perfect.

It was a day where a secret was shared.
Where I was shocked.
And I loved it.
It showed that they aren't all the same.

It was a night filled with randomness.
The idea came across my mind to order 50 chicken nuggets.
I have always wanted to.
And this was the perfect opportunity.
We went to the football field of my greatest rival to enjoy our meal.
We ran across the field.
Played on old football equipment.
Talked in a circle.

I looked up once more to the dazzling stars.
I wondered if Elder was looking at them at the exact same moment.
I thought how special that might be.
So I took in that moment.
I completely lived in it.
My tattered and worn down heart felt completely healed.
As if the wound was never there.
It was a moment where everything was perfect.
And then that moment ended.
Instead of sulking,
I looked around at the loving facing surrounding me.
And I laughed.
My life is amazing.
Why would I sulk?
It's silly to waist such an incredible night.
So I didn't.

And lets just say,
I feel spoiled.
In every aspect.
And the pieces are beginning to fit.
Every last one of them.

I love my life.
Tell me some exciting summer adventures. :)

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