Monday, April 18, 2011

It Will Never Be The Same.

Its the end of the world as we know it.
I apologize to those souls that saw my drastic shedding of tears today.
Quite an emotional day.
My eyes are heavy, drooping, and sore from the water that was drained.
I feel emotionally worn down.
I just want to sleep.
One of the worst days I have had in a long time.
It all started when I went to bed at 2 am,
and awoke promptly at 5:30 am.
Three and half hours of sleep.
Never a good way to start a day.

I traveled to the MATC at 6:00 am to be the first one in line for Medical Assisting.
After two hours of sitting on my behind, the line finally started moving.
There are only twenty-five students in the class and I got the last spot.

I love my Heavenly Father.
The blessings never cease.
I am so grateful.

I approached the high school with a heavy heart.
It looks like a death chamber.
At least it does right now, with only six weeks left of school.
It will be over soon though.
Except for I am not quite ready for it.


I am losing my best friends.
Life is never going to be the same.
My bestestesetest friends in the whole world,
have made a finally decision to not try out for Dance Company,
and become Cheerleaders.
I knew it was coming but I thought the girls would juggle both.
Today, the news came out.
They had to choose one or the other.
Their decision was cheer.
Man, I have never seen so many tears.
These girls are the heart and soul of Dance Company.
The core.
My best friends.
It is inevitable that our friendship is going to calm and almost cease to exist.
When you work, fight, and play as a team,
your best friends begin to form in that group.
It goes both ways.
In Cheer.
We are about to live polar opposite lives,
with different people, different experiences.
We are talking the EXACT opposite.
They are just different types of people.
And that's that.
We are going to change.
We are going to seperate.
We will ALWAYS be friends, but how close we are now?
That is going to be gone.
It's high school.
It's life.
I have cried many tears seeing truly how my life is going to change.
It is going to completely change.
Flip 180 degrees.
I don't do well with change.
Hence, the waterfalls from my eyes.
I wish my best friends luck.
I hope they find complete happiness with their new goals in life.
My heart hurts.
But Heavenly Father is watching over me.
He knows what I need.
I love him.
I am grateful.
He blessed me with SBO.
I am going to grow in so many ways.
I am going to be surrounded by the best of the best kids.
I am going to form a family.
I can't wait.
It is highly needed.
I am just going to miss this.
Every moment, every laugh, every smile,
I am going to take in the rest of the year.
Because it will never be the same.
That's what hurts the most.
But I will be okay.
I always pull through.
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

The three ladies not in the uniform will soon be running around in those short skirts.
I will wear my sweater with pride.
Love you girls.
You will always be my best friends.

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