Sunday, February 13, 2011


Sometimes in life I am blessed with small revelations.
I like to call these small blessings Ah-ha moments.
It is a time in my life were the pieces fit.
My thoughts click.
I can make sense of how I am feeling.
These unusual moments will bring tears but I am grateful for the knowledge that I gain with each one.

I have had a revelation.

My time with Elder was magical. 
There is honestly not another word to put to that portion of my life. 
I lived in a fairytale.
 I fell in love with my prince.
We clicked and could not be happier.
I have never been happier.
 The Holy Ghost was constantly present and I could feel my Savior's love. 
He inspired these feelings. 
He pushed me to be the best I could be.
He challenged me to read The Book of Mormon in a month.
I did it. 
I am so grateful for everything he taught me.
 I am grateful for what I found in myself. 
The capacity I have to love another is outstanding. 
I found that too. 
People say I only dated him for two months, how could I possibly be in love?
 I am only 16, how could I possibly be in love? 
It is a little thing I like to call experience.
 I cannot explain it. 
When you know, you know.
 Love is the most incredible feeling. 
It is knowing that you would give your life for that person, 
knowing they bring out the best you and push you everyday. 
Knowing that you will fight, you will get annoyed
but nothing is greater than having that special someone in your life. 
You wouldn't trade it for the world.
 But I would for my Savior. 
And I have. 
The happiness I received from dating my dear Elder are gone now. 
I handed him over to the Savior to do his work. 
To be a tool in his hands. 
To change lives.
 To give the people of Guatemala celestial glory.
 It is hard to give away the one thing that brought you true happiness, 
but in return the blessing will be so much greater.

I lived in complete and utter bliss.

But to be blunt.

That chapter of my life is over.

It is done, he is gone.

Letters are a source of small communication but we will never be as we were before.
Even when he comes home, things will be different.
And I know this.

I am not an idiot, I see things for what they are.
No matter how hard I try to change my concepts on different ideas,
the facts are never going to change.

I have to move on.
I have to get over this.
The tears need to end.
It is time.

This is my revelation.

Take what I have learned.
 Begin to develop the person I have become. 
Be grateful for those two months. 
Search for that happiness instead of clinging to the past. 
It is time.
I am ready.
I am strong.
I can do this.

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