Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Day of Love.

Oh, Valentines Day.
The Joy.
The Heartbreak.
The Excitement.
What an exceedingly fine day it was.

At first, I was a bit skeptical.
I knew I wasn't going to have a Valentine.
The man I am head over heals for is in Central America.
The poor kid probably doesn't even know it is Valentines day.
Hence, I am alone.
I don't even look at boys now.
Boys don't even consider me.
I am just BLAHHH now.

I knew I would spend the day of love by my lonesome self.

I thought to take matters into my hands this holiday.
I was determined to have a jolly good day.
So... I bought myself my own gifts.
I was so proud of myself.
After purchasing my love's new album
*Ahem Justin Bieber*
I went all out.
A 3D switchy Justin Bieber poster.

A little off center, but it is still truly beautiful.

Yes, pathetic is my middle name.
I had to buy myself my own Valentine present.
Its fine. It happens.

Luckily, I have an amazing mother.
She knows what I love.
My madre knows how to make me happy.
After getting primped up for this hopelessly awful day, dressing in black for the occasion,
I treaded to my kitchen to fill myself with comfort. My food.
When I approached the counter my day took a flip.
Mommy bought me presents!

The socks.
The lipgloss.
The letter.
The notebook.
The key chain.
I was speechless.
My dear mother knows me allllll tooooo well.
I love Vampire Diaries.
Lets get that out of the way right now.
With a hop in my step, I headed off to school.

First period was beloved Seminary.
Oh, how I love Brother Boucher.
He is a fantastic man.
I have learned so much already in his class.
Today we talked on dating.
On having a steady boyfriend in high school and how that is not acceptable
I say pish-posh.
I disagree 100%.
I let him know that too.
I think high school is a time to learn. 
It is a time to grow. 
It is a time to make mistakes.
When I am in a relationship, I learn the most about myself.
I learn what I can handle and what I can't.
I find my characteristics and gifts I have when I am placed in different situations.
I did not speak the entire lesson.
I let dear Brother Boucher give his speech the entire period, to get his point across.
Once everyone left the room, I let it all out.
Poor guy. He was speechless.
He didn't know that I was such an opinionated girl.
That was an interesting experience.

The rest of the school day continued with no excitement.
Once I was released from my prison, I ventured to T-Slate's humble home.
We were expecting the company of Lone Peak Sophomores.
Oh, how I love that little group of boys.
I fell asleep.
I was bored.
I was sad.
Valentines Day had taken a turn for the worst.
I laid on the couch like a potato,
in hope that sleep would make the day fly by.
All I wanted to do was go home.
Listen to my JB soundtrack and dance around in.
My favorite sort of entertainment.
But I was too lazy to travel home, so I slept away miserably on the couch.

Buzzzz Buzzzzz
My lovely man of a friend, Austin, texted me.
A Valentines Day dinner.
What a glorious idea.
Austin is one of my closest friends and I deeply treasure his friendship.
After much arranging, a double date was planned with Landon and Natasha.
Their hard work definitely paid off:

Our candle lit dinner. So romantic.

Take a gander at this lovely couple. Keepers for sure.

Me and Jarvis. Aka The Butler. Aka Parker Shelby. Aka Landon's little brother.

Ahhhh. I love this boy.

Well the night played for as such:
We ate.
We laughed.
Jokes were shared.
Tash's rude comments were present.
A movie was watched.
Some moves were made.
Most were rejected.
Our night in a nutshell.

Dear dear Austin. I love him more than he will ever even comprehend.
There is chemistry.
If this night would have happened six months ago, I am sure kisses would have been exchanged.
But I am a completely different girl than who I was back then.
I am not the crazy teenager that just wants to have fun.
I want substantial love.
I want spiritual access my special someone.
I don't want to kiss anyone anymore.
That is part of it.

The other portion is...
Ugh, stupid heart. Can't you just move on?

I can remember my last night with him perfectly.
It was the 8th of November. Elder was leaving on the 10th for the MTC. This Monday was a chance for us to say goodbye and spend our final moments together.
As usual, we met at our secret spot.
To this day, no one knows where it is. It is our little secret.
It is beyond special to me, I have not been there since that night.
We met up at 8, and my curfew was pushed to midnight because of the occasion.
Four hours.
That was all we had to be with each other.
I remember his car pulling around the corner.
My heart dropped knowing this was the last time I would witness his arrival to our precious spot.

We got out of our cars simultaneously.
Before I knew it, I was being spun in the air.
A perfect moment in the arms of my Elder.
He was a little excited to see me. 

When our embrace finally ended, I looked into his eyes.
A better definition would be melted.
I can still remember the pain that shown through his ice blue eyes.

Softly, he placed his hand of the back of my neck and drew me in.
Never in my life had I known a more powerful kiss.
It was gentle and soft, but the pain of the situation stung every moment.

After he pulled away, I saw this moment for what it truly was.
This kiss was the first of our last moments together for two years.
My heart shattered that very second.
I would not waste this night.
In anyway.
After climbing into the backseat of his car, our night really began.
We took the first hour to bear our testimonies to each other.
I have NEVER felt the spirit so strong.
The testimony of a soon-to-be missionary is outstanding.
The faith and willingness of his heart was remarkable.
I was blown away.

I only fell that much harder.

The next hour was... well... very intimate. 
Can you really blame us?
This was our last time together, 
Of course he was going to catch all the rain he could before his two year drought.
Bur randomly, at one point, he pulled away and became angry.
Almost furious.
I began to wonder what in the world I did to trigger this emotion.
Suddenly he exclaimed:
"Why now?! I have waited for my the girl of my dreams for all of high school. We even went to school together! Why are you in my life now? Right before I leave? We could have been so happy my entire senior year. Why did it have to happen like this?" and so forth.
I was shocked. My face was probably priceless.
I knew I had thought these thoughts before but I never knew they crossed Elder's mind.
My reply was:
"Ok, lets go back to your senior year. Where were you mentally? Where were you spiritually? Lets be honest, you are a different person than you were back in high school. What we have is special, and it means so much more because we are more mature now. Lets just be grateful that this did happen. And that we are in love now."

That was the first time love was ever brought up.
I buried my head in his chest, trying to disguise the initial shock and embarrassment.
I did not know how he would react.
If that would ruin everything.
I knew I felt it, but I was never quite sure where he stood.

Cricket cricket.
Oh great, I just ruined everything.

After an eternity, Elder surprised me.
He slid me onto his lap and cradled me in his arms.
For about ten minutes we just sat in quietness.
I was in complete bliss.
At least he didn't shun me like I thought he would.
To my surprise, he began to tickle words onto my back.
This entertained us for a while, he wrote a word, I would guess it.
Silly sayings, inside jokes.
Before I knew it, he wrote.
I am in love with you.
My head snapped up instantly.
I stared at him. 
"Linsey, I have never had stronger feelings for any other girl in my life. I am in love you. I want you to wait for me. I know I could marry and be the happiest guy alive."
Ohhhhh myyyyyy goodness.
Talk about your heart stopping!
Giddiness filled my body, and I just leaned in to kiss him.

Best night we ever shared.
This is the memory I cling to.
While I was on my date, I kept having flashback of that night.
I wanted to cry.
I wanted a time machine.
That is why I couldn't kiss Austin.

I am terrified to kiss someone else.
I am scared that if I kiss another boy I lose that memory of Elder.
I feel like that is the last thing that ties us together.
And once I lose the memory of our last kiss... I am terrified that I will forget him. 
And I can't let that go.

After I returned home, my poor mother had to witness the tears.
Many many tears.
She thinks this whole thing is silly, I was 16 and we only dated for two months.
But she always has a shoulder I can cry on.
To try and calm myself I logged onto facebook. 
This is the picture I found:

Bloggers, I would like to introduce you to my Elder.

Aaron Jeffrey Hill

This a picture of him with the little ninos of Guatemala.
What a babe :)

This made my Valentines Day.
This brought more tears.
Tears of joy.
He looks so happy.
I love it.

That was my day of love.
It had its ups and its downs but in the end
all you need is love.

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