Sunday, May 1, 2011

An Eventful Weekend.

Within the last 48 hours
I have never learned so much about myself.
My limits.
My strengths.
My weaknesses.
The things that make me truly happy.
Experiences that makes me weep.
True love being reunited.
Friendships on the fritz.
Late nights and deep secrets.

My life.
Someone help me.

It all started Thursday night.
My best friend slash newly made cheerleader
slept over at my house.
As we laid in my bed,
we talked 
and talked
and talked.
Until 2 am.
Don't forget I had to be at the school by 6:45 for SBO training.
We discussed our senior year and the changes that are coming.
I asked her how she felt.
Her answer stated
that she felt like I was giving up on her.
On our friendship.
That I am not going to fight for things to stay the same.
That shocked me.
I know it is something worth fighting for,
but when life gets started and things get crazy,
I just thought growing apart was inevitable.
Maybe I am crazy.
She says I am.
It doesn't have to be that way.
And I agree.
My mind took on a new look on this whole deal.
It will all be okay.
No matter what.

That night was our last concert.
The last time American Fork Dance Company 2010-2011
would ever dance together.
The last time with my seniors.
The last time with my best friends.
It was a very emotional night.
It started with a devotional
and the most beautiful speech by our one and only manager,
Benjamin Wright.
He his words made us weep.
So powerful.
He then sang us a song about family and love.
And how a team is one.
I lost it.
I bawled, 
My make up was horribly ruined.
Which is fine.
I didn't really care.
I just wanted to give the show of our lives.
And we did.
Let me tell you.
That concert was amazing.
Every dance had passion.
We danced not as individuals,
but as a team.
We did it for each other.
The crowd was amazing.
The feeling of getting on that stage and performing a piece that you have put
blood, sweat, and tears into,
dancing with your best friends,
and expressing yourself in an artistic out-of-body way,
it is beyond words.
It is a whole new world of expressing emotions.
Inner most thoughts.
It is incredible.

Afterward, the entire company went to Pizza Factory.
What a treat.
I have never belly-gut laugh more in my life.
Our manager might be the funniest person alive.
I devoured food and loved every second of it.
At one point in the evening,
I received a phone call.
I excused myself from the table and ran outside.
Answering the phone, I was shocked to hear the voice that spoke my name.
My best friend.
The one person that has made the biggest influence on my life.
I cannot believe I have not mentioned him on this blog before because
he is the reason I am who I am today.
I had not talked to him in 5 months.
He had disappeared from my life entirely.
We got to the point where we knew each other too well,
we would try to tick each other off,
and just fought.
All. The. Time.
But here he was.
On the phone, ready to talk.
I about died.
Tears began to flow from my eyes.
I had missed him so much.
I smile cheek to cheek as a waterfall came crashing over it.
We talked for a bit.
He cracked some old time jokes,
and I laughed.
It was just comforting to hear his voice and that he was doing well.
I returned back to the table with my food ready to eat.
I indulged myself.

Afterward a few of the ladies had a night of
slumber and hot tubbing.
Secrets were shared
and stories of first kisses were told.

Saturday morning was spent at Kneaders
with my SBO soul sister.
We discussed boys and love.
Let me tell you.
She is one insightful little lassie.
I have been contemplating between two amazing men.
I had no idea.
So she gave me a bit of advice.
Flip a coin.
My response is the same as yours right now.
Why would you base your future on probability?
But there is a catch.
As soon as you flip the coin,
a name will pop into your head.
The name of who you hope it will land on.
And that is the boy you really want to be with.
So I did it.
And it worked.
I will let you know how that plays out.
After leaving, we had a very dramatic experience.
She was in tears.
I was her comforter.
My problem is,
I take on other peoples emotions as my own.
When I reached my home,
my body was shaken and my thoughts were unclear.

The rest of the night was spent cleaning,
and baking,
and singing.
I love nights at home.
They are just very comforting.

I went and saw my old best friend.
We cried.
I feel uneasy.
I don't know how to respond to what is happening.
My life is a whirlwind.
It is only going to get crazier.
My emotions are all tussled.
I don't know how I feel about anything at the current moment.
It will all work out though.
Won't it?

1 comment:

  1. You never really told me how that went...
    Was it alright?

    Thanks again for everything soul sista.

    You are truly the best. :)